Now that the Olympics is over, it’s time to ponder on what’s next. To accurately predict what will happen next it is good to go back to the beginning.

And here, I’d like to put forth a theory shared by my friends who’ve been involved in major events like the Olympics. They call it the “Six Phases of a Major Event”.

I call it the E-Curve – The Emotional Curve of Events.

Here’s what it typically looks like.

Stage 1: Euphoria

That’s when the bid was won. Everyone’s excited, slapping each other’s backs, saying, well done, team. We did it together. We are Formidable. Champions. Unbeatable. We are going to put on the best show ever and we are going to do it. One team, one event, one dream, one world.

Stage 2. Disenchantment

This is when reality sets in and everyone realises, oh my goodness, the work, the money, the time. What will happen to my holiday plans? This is also when all the committees have been set up and everyone seems to be doing something someone else should be doing and you seem to be the only one doing the dirty work, like ordering flower pots or something. You start to cast resentful glances at your superiors who are talking to the media like they are the superstars or something. You do not go for drinks together anymore because all you want to do is throw the drinks in their faces.

Stage 3: Search for guilty

This is when things start to go wrong and someone’s got to take the blame, and it’s certainly not going to be you. You just ordered the flower pots, you didn’t order the entire orchard be cut down or something. This is also when the military principle comes into play – “Keep your head below the parapet, boy”. (Parapet – a wall, rampart, or elevation of earth or stone to protect soldiers). Whatever you do, avoid eye contact. Speak only when spoken to, and even then, do not utter anything that could incriminate you. And oh yes. copy everybody on everything.

Stage 4: Persecution of innocent

Innocent people are, well, innocent and thus the easiest to persecute. Flower pots are no defence against those who would pursue you relentlessly because hey, forget one team, one event, one dream, one world. At this stage of the game it’s every man or woman to himself, and it’s survival of the fittest. Even taking oaths that you are innocent will not protect you at this stage. You are presumed guilty until proven guilty.

Stage 5. Successful completion

Phew. The show is on. It works like clockwork. Never mind the media snipes, everyone is focused on execution, execution, execution. Everyone just wants to get it over with now, and everyone is focused on completion, completion, completion. Followed by vacation, vacation, vacation.

Stage 6. Glorification of the uninvolved

Now that the show is over and it is successful, everyone will now claim they played a part in it. Even you with your flower pots can now stand on the pulpit and talk about the sheer logistics of finding so many pots of the same size and shape, and with plants of the same height and stature that they lent an air of ethereality to the city. This is when everyone will go on the speaker circuit ...

Join the queue.