The procession going into the village

My first visit to my late father’s village was in 2005. Then as now, I decided to go unannounced. This is highly unconventional, as you might expect. Usually, you give notice, they expect you, they throw a feast and you exchange gifts or something like that, I’d imagine.

I have to say, my cousin, Yeoh Siew Thong, took it in his stride the first time I showed up – a strange woman showing up out of the blue and claiming to be some relative. Perhaps it’s something in the Yeoh DNA – my father took everything in his stride as well. He didn’t say or express much, just went about his life, worked hard and didn’t complain much either.

To get to my father’s village, whimsically called Mountain Leaf Village, we had to head to Qionghai.

The “Qionghai Tourist’s Guide” describes it as “a beautiful and magic place” – “town of Chinese hot spring, young and full of charm, a Chinese excellent tourist city.

Pictured right: Siew Thong and great grand-daughter

“This fertile land has a long history, many distinguished people, prosperous culture, honest folkway and rich resources. This is a famous town of overseas Chinese, where there is the beautiful & rich Wanquan River and the well-known brilliant history of the Red Women Army.”

I am not sure my father considered himself a “distinguished” person. At 13, he was put on the boat to Malaya by his mother who had, a year earlier, sent her elder boy on the same journey. My father’s mother and two sisters died in subsequent years from starvation, we are told.

I only had the name of the village written on paper, no address or telephone number. Unlike Willy, I hadn’t Googled it. I trusted that Lucas would locate it like he did the first time.

True enough, Lucas had already called ahead to another grand-nephew who worked as a masseur in Qionghai to find the village. When we got to the city, Peng Zhi Geng, who is the cousin of our driver, Zhi Hui, was waiting. He hopped on a motorcycle and guided us to the village.

At the village, we asked an elderly woman if she knew my cousin. “Siew Thong?” she said. “He’s very old now. Has relatives in Malaysia. He lives over there.”

Who are you? What do you want with Siew Thong? (left); and the welcome

She pointed to another village, across the road. This was Mountain Leaf Village 2. We made quite a little procession as we entered the village, guided by our new-found friend. I looked around, trying to recall impressions from my first visit.

I then saw someone familiar – my cousin’s wife. She looked much the same, just older. We went up to her and at first she looked suspicious when Lucas asked her if she knew Siew Thong. “Why? Why do you want to know? You tell me first.”

When I told her who I was, her face lit up and she immediately welcomed us to into her home. “Siew Thong? He’s very old now, getting deaf.”

Twice warned, I was expecting the worst. What I found was still a very sprightly man, just slightly hard of hearing, but full of energy and bounce. His face lit up with delight when he saw us.

He immediately took me to my family’s ancestral altar (pictured left), which my father had built. “We must pray for your father,” he said, as he made several trips to and fro to get food offerings, joss-sticks and candles for the prayers.

He then climbed nimbly onto a ledge and placed the joss-sticks on an altar which was located quite high up on a wall. “Be careful,” I said. He waved my concerns aside. “I do this all the time.”

Later, we gathered in the family living room for tea. I was impressed by their memory. They spoke of my father’s first visit with my mother and brother and laughed at their “foreign” ways. They remembered I was living in Hong Kong at the time. They spoke about my last visit, and they asked after everyone in the family – people they haven’t met – and they remembered details I myself had forgotten.

I was touched by their sense of family. In our world, we have lost much of that bond. Here, family ties reign supreme and no matter how far or near you live, or how long they haven’t seen you or if they haven’t met you, you are family. Growing up, I never really regarded my father’s family in China as family. They were just “over there”. I felt undeserving of their concern.

The unveiling of the clan books

On a whim, I asked if they had the Yeoh clan books. My jaw dropped when Siew Thong nodded. His wife then brought out a package wrapped with old newspaper. I opened the wrapping and in there were four books, tracing the genealogy of the Yeoh clan in the village.

With their help (I can’t read Mandarin), I found my father’s name as well as my family’s names in the book. For the first time, I felt a real sense of my roots that went beyond where I was born. This was where my father’s roots were and I saw the names of his father, his grandfather and his great grandfather written in the set of books.

“Take them home to your mother,” said Siew Thong. I felt humbled by his generosity.

The two brothers

His father had accompanied my father on the boat journey. Siew Thong had made the same journey one year later but he had to return to Hainan on his father’s orders. You get the sense that he would rather have stayed in Penang but you also get the sense that he’s long made peace with his life.

Perhaps it’s those who left who never did – as stoic as my father was, I knew he always felt a deep sense of yearning for Hainan. And by the time he managed to return, almost 50 years after he left, his closest family had all died. My brother, who accompanied him on his first visit home, said it was the first time he saw my father cry.

He made another trip back to Hainan a few years later to pay his respects at the ancestral altar. That, I believe, was when he made peace with his past.

It’s a past I want to respect.

As we left, Siew Thong and his brother walked out with us to say goodbye. Gripping my hand tightly, he said, “Come back with your mother.”

• Watch video (below) of Siew Thong, Siew Hoon's uncle, sharing his story and memories of her father.
Note: The video contains language that can only be understood by Hainanese.

Next week: Arriving at Lucas’ village with a big bang

• Photos courtesy of Willy Foo, video courtesy Yeoh Siew Hoon

those clan books.. it's really a miracle!!