I don’t think I am a difficult customer – although some people might disagree – but after reading an article – Guest Requests Getting Outrageous at Hotels – on the kind of requests other people make at hotels, I think I am a positively easy guest.

The report, which was based on a concierge report from Fairmont Hotels, said that people had requested anything from late-night handcuffs to roasted tarantulas and incubators for ostrich eggs.

Man, I wished I led such an exciting life. My requests have always been simple.

During my "get fit" phase, I used to ask for weights at every hotel I stayed at. At the then-Hilton Jakarta, I was told I could have the dumb-bells but I’d have to pay a hefty deposit.

Apparently, some people actually steal these heavyweights so they have to protect themselves against heavy losses – okay, enough of the weighty jokes already. Possibly these were the days before low cost airlines and you could lug as much baggage as you liked onto flights.

I wasn’t that dumb so I passed.

At Kowloon Shangri-La, I called housekeeping and asked for the same objects in question. They brought me a weighing machine. I told them I’d need that after they brought me the weights – to make light of the awkward situation.

At a very small, highly budget hotel on the Lake Geneva shoreline – which actually was rather distant – I asked for my clothes to be pressed. I was given an iron and an ironing board – which really was more than I had bargained for.

In Marrakech, I asked for a plier because I had locked my suitcase and lost the key. Someone came in – I recall him being very tall, big, dark and handsome – and he twisted the lock open with his bare hands. A girl can just swoon at such a sight.

In Madrid, at the Novotel Puenta de la Paz, I realised I needed a toothbrush at midnight. I called down to reception and asked if housekeeping could bring me a toothbrush. (Old Asian habits die hard – we are used to having people do things for us in hotels.)

The voice on the line said, "I am alone here, I can’t leave the desk."

Muttering, I put on my clothes and went down to reception. True enough, he was alone and he was attending to one check-in while the telephone was ringing – probably someone else needing a toothbrush.

I wait in line, like a good little girl, to be handed my toothbrush.

Sometimes it’s the simplest requests that are the hardest to fulfill.

Velvet-lined handcuffs? Come on, that’s easy. Next time, I will ask for a velvet-lined doggie bed – just to see what happens.