Washington Post Neologism Contest:
Each year, the Post asks readers to submit new definitions for pre- existing words. Here’s the current list
Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline
Bustard (n.): a rude bus driver
Cabbage Patch (n.): a patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage
Circumvent (n.): the opening in the front of boxer shorts
Coffee (n.): a person who is coughed upon
Discussion (n.): a Frisbee-related head injury
Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk
Excruciate (n.): the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck
Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained
Flattery (n.): a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only
Flatulence (n.): the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
Frisbeetarianism (n.): the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there
Gargoyle (n.): an olive-flavored mouthwash
Ineffable (adj.): describes someone you absolutely cannot swear in front of
Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp
Negligent(adj.): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie
Nincompoop (n.): the military command responsible for battlefield sanitation
Oral-B (n.): Monica’s grade on her last intern evaluation
Oyster(n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Ozone (n.): area in which the G-spot is located
Perplexed (adj.): lost in a movie theatre
Pimple (n.): pimp’s apprentice
Pokemon (n): a Jamaican proctologist
Pontificate (n.): a document given to each graduating pope
Pop Secret (n.): paternity suit settled without publicity
Population (n.): that nice sensation you get when drinking soda
Racket (n.): a small pair of breasts
Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
Semantics (n.): pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood
Spatula (n.): a fight among vampires
Sudafed (n.): a software program on how to file a civil action against the government
Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an examination
Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent
